Is it a coincidence that 251 closes up shop the night I go to make my first submission, or is it a wicked conspiracy that goes straight to the top? I think we both know the answer.
It's a credit to Michael Gerber and the original editors that the site had this great run. I was just glad that I got to be a part of it over the past year. Onwards and upwards for The Bystander!
I liked this post overall, but I was drawn in because of the blueberries thing. We had a strict “no blueberries” policy with the baby we used to have, after a blueberry episode that could be described as a “teaching moment.” I can remember that diaper more clearly than I remember the Iraq War.
Also-- reading your post reminded me of something that may make you roll your eyes.
I avoid a large number of “humor” accounts on substack because I don’t think they’re funny. But yours is on the very short list of accounts i subscribe to, while avoiding your posts precisely because they are so consistently funny, and I’m running behind these days on work so I can’t afford to get sucked in all the time.
I hope that revelation doesn’t irritate you. I know that if someone said the same thing to me, I’d have my butler throw them out.
I love that Frega DiPerri cartoon so much. Just a perfect observation, I knew exactly what they were talking about the second I saw it.
Oh god, I just remember the texture and the color when I opened up that diaper. Those diapers, actually, as it's happened more than once with my kids.
Our butler Geoffrey was sadly still in the 251 building when a fire "broke out" so we have an immediate opening, if you have any leads. But also your words are kind and very, very appreciated! Thanks for them.
Is it a coincidence that 251 closes up shop the night I go to make my first submission, or is it a wicked conspiracy that goes straight to the top? I think we both know the answer.
May 251 rest in short-form humor pieces.
251 had a great run. Thank you! 🫡
It's a credit to Michael Gerber and the original editors that the site had this great run. I was just glad that I got to be a part of it over the past year. Onwards and upwards for The Bystander!
Very sorry to see you go, Michael. Your tireless efforts were much appreciated.
And I'll hope you'll come back to write more about this old "Testament" saga. Can't wait to see how it ends!
Thank you -- and I'll be back! You'll have a truly, truly awful Bible story in your inbox next Wednesday to wrap up the Book of Judges.
Caption: “I know it’s free on Prime Video, but this has got to be the worst adaptation of Huckleberry Finn I’ve ever seen.”
"Looks like a business card jammed under the fin, here, Johnny. Somebody named ... [squints] Luca Brasi ...?"
Thanks, Michael! I'd also like to thank my fellow indictees for help rigging the caption contest voting machines.
I liked this post overall, but I was drawn in because of the blueberries thing. We had a strict “no blueberries” policy with the baby we used to have, after a blueberry episode that could be described as a “teaching moment.” I can remember that diaper more clearly than I remember the Iraq War.
Also-- reading your post reminded me of something that may make you roll your eyes.
I avoid a large number of “humor” accounts on substack because I don’t think they’re funny. But yours is on the very short list of accounts i subscribe to, while avoiding your posts precisely because they are so consistently funny, and I’m running behind these days on work so I can’t afford to get sucked in all the time.
I hope that revelation doesn’t irritate you. I know that if someone said the same thing to me, I’d have my butler throw them out.
I love that Frega DiPerri cartoon so much. Just a perfect observation, I knew exactly what they were talking about the second I saw it.
Oh god, I just remember the texture and the color when I opened up that diaper. Those diapers, actually, as it's happened more than once with my kids.
Our butler Geoffrey was sadly still in the 251 building when a fire "broke out" so we have an immediate opening, if you have any leads. But also your words are kind and very, very appreciated! Thanks for them.
You earned them, of course, but you’re welcome!
"Here's your goddamn compromise, I cook my half and you throw your's back in the water."
It’s them ol’ blues again, mama.
"Bobby, I'm done fileting the fish and please bring Gramma the Bassomatic so I can finish dinner."
Me and Bobby go way back, but we've agreed to avoid partying together. The drinking (his) was getting out of control.