What happens when a baby eats an entire pint of blueberries?

COMEDY, that's what

We’ve got a question from a reader:

I’m an aspiring comedy writer, but my aunt tells me that writing is the lowest form of comedy. She studied as a clown in Paris and wants me to receive a “proper training.” Who’s right?

Your aunt has a point, dear reader.

Writing is a strange art. The artist writes a joke about George Santos. “You’ve got to admit that Santos is a pretty impressive guy,” it says, “according to his resume.”

Has comedy happened when the writer writes?

No, it has not.

Because that joke wasn’t funny.

Clowning, on the other hand, is always funny. Take the classic clown car bit. One clown after another is crammed into an impossibly small space. Even better, that space has a horn that goes beep beep. The clowns keep going in, and keep going out.

Why is this funny? Because it is.

But why do the clowns keep going in? What are they doing, trying to stuff themselves in that car? What are they hoping to get out of it?

Thankfully, Austin Kimmell recently gave us the answer:

https://twofiftyone.net/2023/07/31/6740/

Speaking of the essentials of comedy, why are poop jokes funny? Because having spent a lot of time around young children, poop sure seems hilarious from the start. Frega DiPerri recently explored this as part of their "Return to Sender" series of postcards from hell:

And speaking of hell, how humiliating must it be for Hannibal Lecter to have guests over? So embarrassing! Sophie Cohen, Kai Nelson, and William Herff recently took this one on in depth:

And here's some more from their list:

Sorry the house is a mess

It’s a conversation starter

This is where the paperclip challenge led me

It’s In Yer Face Theatre

What cage?

That can’t fit a human!

Why don’t you get in and see for yourself…

It’s a sex thing

It’s a sex thing but it doesn’t have anything to do with my human shaped dog, that’s a different cage

It increases the property value

I rent it out to help with the mortgage

I rent it out to human shaped dogs to help with the mortgage

It was supposed to be an IKEA couch but I was missing some pieces

It’s not a sex thing

It’s not a sex thing, that’s a different cage

I eat human shaped dogs and need a place to put them

Fine, I put people in there before I eat them.  Happy?!

And there is much more besides all this on twofiftyone.net. But before we go on, it's time for an important update about the site, which is that this week will be the final week of new material at 251. 

When I took over 251 last year, I along with the whole team understood it as an experiment. And what we've learned since then is that, while many of us love 251, our collective online habits are much more closely tied to social media and newsletters (like this one!) than a standalone short humor homepage. 

You may be wondering, what do our internal metrics say about all this? The answer is, they say precisely what I just said. 

So, it's time to say goodbye to 251, which means one more thing: it's time to burn down the 251 office and collect on the insurance. And Kai Bradley, the 251 intern, has simply go to find another place to sleep. 

But it's certainly not a sad goodbye, as it's all for the greater benefit of The American Bystander and for Kai, who really is too old to be sleeping at work.

Thanks for all the fun, everybody! There will be much more fun to come. And we are committed to archiving the 251 site so that nothing disappears forever, even our cartoons about polyamorous clowns.

The American Bystander's New Yorker Caption Contest

The cheeriest congratulations to John Bluff, winner of last edition's caption contest. 

The photo that I have for you this week is one that I've been living with for over a year. I hope it inspires your caption-writing creative juices in a way that it has fired mine. It is from the CDC's  public domain images, which you can either use or not in your submissions. 

So without further blabla, have at it:

Funniest captioner gets a Coke next time we all hang out.

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[MG here: Deep thanks and a tip of the ol’ Bystander chapeau to Michael Pershan for his fine work editing 251 this past year—nobody could’ve done it better. And thanks, too, to all the writers and artists who contributed material to the site 2019-2023. I’m not good at endings—please note the 35 years and counting of unpaid work for my old college humor magazine—but I’m also determined to find a way for us to publish 251-style material so it gets the kind of eyeballs its deserves. Watch this space.]