20 Comments
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Michael Pershan's avatar

"Yeah baby, drink it all up baby." (Going for some sort of phone sex/fatherhood double entendre, but possibly needs a serious punch up.)

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Wabi Sabi's avatar

'Drink it all up baby...no not you sir.'

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John Bluff's avatar

“No, honey, no trouble at all, not since I figured out how to use the breast pump.”

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Strong!

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Albert H.'s avatar

Me? I'm wearing a green apron and nothing else.

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Michael Pershan's avatar

lol

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John Bluff's avatar

“You’ll have your proof of life when I see the money.”

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Albert H.'s avatar

This your grandson. Yes, Steve. I've been arrested Grandma and I need you to send me a gift card for bail.

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Albert H.'s avatar

That gurgling noise? That was just little Roger. No, my penis.

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Jason B's avatar

Now that mommy and Spot are gone, it's just us, kiddo!

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Jason B's avatar

(ie, the poster on the wall)

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Michael Pershan's avatar

I appreciate the attention to detail!

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Mr. Knows Nothing, et. al.'s avatar

Yeah. . . I didn't realized how much in hock this merger and acquisition would cost us . . . and my partner got the promotion I thought I was going to get!

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E.R. Flynn's avatar

"Yes, dear, I AM giving it the Basset Hound milk, but the transformation doesn't seem to be working."

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R.B. Lamb's avatar

You know what they say. In one end and in the other.

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Steve Wyatt's avatar

“It took me 42 hours to express, so I’m switching to formula.”

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Steve Wyatt's avatar

“Of course, I’d never add whiskey to his milk. Vodka is way cheaper.”

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Steve Wyatt's avatar

“Yes, it’s brand new and can be yours for just $19.99 plus shipping.”

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Albert H.'s avatar

Yes...No...Uh Huh...Uh huh...No, she wasn't breathing when I got here.

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Albert H.'s avatar

"She was wearing green shoes with a yellow purse. I know, She's such a slut."

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