Jephtah, What a Treasure Hadst Thou!

Welcome back to Bible School, sickos.

Thomas Jefferson, inventor of the swivel chair, famously edited the New Testament down to just nice things that Jesus said while removing any fun. We’ve been doing something similar here, except it’s the Hebrew Bible and we’re only doing the weird stuff.

And, fair warning: from here on out we’re going in order, and it’s going to get weirder.

I’ve told y…