My years teaching at yeshiva were full of rabbis avoiding these stories, or coloring them in special ways to avoid the obvious. (I taught secular stuff like world history and history of science and conceptual physics and psychology). But when I remarked that Solomon was a monster, a corrupt lecherous dictator, it was met with extreme skepticism and bafflement.
Yes! I was taught these stories when I was a student in yeshiva. I think it was 7th Grade. The main thing my teachers wanted to get across was the cycle of sin, prayer, redemption, and failure, but also they wanted to wow us with the cool heroes and stories.
Every law laid down by a state, no matter how minor, is backed by violence, and in that sense a state is inherently violent. One's awareness of this depends on circumstances -- wealth, skin color, location, all the rest -- but it's also a matter of the maturity of the country one lives in, and how far down the road of institutionalization it is.
Which is a way to say, Solomon was a monster because he was the second monarch in a dynasty. Abimelech was a monster, because he tried to start one. Henry IV was a monster. Democracies do it somewhat differently, but they're all born in blood anyway -- I don't need to tell anyone here that America certainly was.
(Also, I think Stanley Fish's production of OKLAHOMA! drew this out in a brilliant way, if anyone else here caught it.)
Anyway, yes to all this Neal, and it's part of what fascinates me about these stories.
Haha OK so first of all, great eye. Second, I cut the section that explained this because it's a bit of a tangent, but here's the deal: there were 70 brothers, and they were all killed except for a guy named Yotam, the youngest brother, who hid under a bed during the massacre.
I actually like the little story of Yotam, not sure whether to post it here or in Notes or somewhere else.
Yotam, bloody and confused, hears the chants and feels sick to his stomach. He limps over to Mount Gerizim and clears his throat. He is the last surviving son—the last real son—of Gideon and has no trouble attracting a crowd.
He gathers his strength, and begins to speak.
The trees once gathered, Yotam says. They wished to choose for themselves a king. They asked the olive tree, your fruit is rich and ripe, rule over us. But the olive tree refused. They then asked the fig tree, but the fig tree demurred as well. They then asked the vine…
YOTAM, says a voice.
Then they asked the thornbush, Yotam continued. The thornbush agreed, but warned them: if you speak truly, all is good, come rest in my shade…
EXCUSE ME, YOTAM, the voice said.
…but if you will not have me as king, may fire issue forth from me, and consume all the trees in the world, even the cedars of…
YOTAM, the voice again. YOTAM, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE THIS MUCH SIMPLER. LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, LIKE WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THESE TREES. WHO ARE THE TREES.
Yotam stared at the man. A breeze whistled across the hill. Yotam picked at some shmutz on his arm, shrinking back in horror as he realized it was a dried splash of his brother’s blood. He couldn’t be sure which one.
Yotam looked up at the confused crowd.
What I meant is, no fucking kings for the people of Israel. And one of you guys had better murder your little garbage monarch, and Yotam walked off Mount Gerizim and away from Shechem forever.
Speaking of weird gods, Baal is definitely one. While visiting Barcelona, I stopped the Museo Egipcio de Barcelona. In that museum is a small statue of Baal that looks a lot like Santa Claus, if he was Egyptian. After a bit more research afterwards, I found that Baal actually did have Santa like qualities like giving out gifts such as fertility. He was also was the lord of Rain and Dew. So I'm guessing that it's not a far stretch that Baal might have been adopted by Germanic tribes and modified to celebrate the winter Solstice and be lord of Snow and Ice. Crazy, huh?
I always get confused because there's BAAL and there's BAAL ZAPHON and BEELZEBUB and BAAL BERITH and BAAL PEOR and I don't really understand which of these are related and which are not. But the Baal Cycle is very cool: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_Cycle
Maybe once you work your way through the Bible stories take a crack at other gods and monsters. Oh wait, I think Gaiman has that angle nailed down. Ha!
You talking about Sandman or his Norse stories? Because both kick ass. I was looking at the Norse book this week seeing if there was anything worth stealing for this column.
My years teaching at yeshiva were full of rabbis avoiding these stories, or coloring them in special ways to avoid the obvious. (I taught secular stuff like world history and history of science and conceptual physics and psychology). But when I remarked that Solomon was a monster, a corrupt lecherous dictator, it was met with extreme skepticism and bafflement.
Yes! I was taught these stories when I was a student in yeshiva. I think it was 7th Grade. The main thing my teachers wanted to get across was the cycle of sin, prayer, redemption, and failure, but also they wanted to wow us with the cool heroes and stories.
Every law laid down by a state, no matter how minor, is backed by violence, and in that sense a state is inherently violent. One's awareness of this depends on circumstances -- wealth, skin color, location, all the rest -- but it's also a matter of the maturity of the country one lives in, and how far down the road of institutionalization it is.
Which is a way to say, Solomon was a monster because he was the second monarch in a dynasty. Abimelech was a monster, because he tried to start one. Henry IV was a monster. Democracies do it somewhat differently, but they're all born in blood anyway -- I don't need to tell anyone here that America certainly was.
(Also, I think Stanley Fish's production of OKLAHOMA! drew this out in a brilliant way, if anyone else here caught it.)
Anyway, yes to all this Neal, and it's part of what fascinates me about these stories.
69 brothers ! Any hidden meaning to that number? Talk about virile!
Haha OK so first of all, great eye. Second, I cut the section that explained this because it's a bit of a tangent, but here's the deal: there were 70 brothers, and they were all killed except for a guy named Yotam, the youngest brother, who hid under a bed during the massacre.
I actually like the little story of Yotam, not sure whether to post it here or in Notes or somewhere else.
Midweek addendium?
Yotam, bloody and confused, hears the chants and feels sick to his stomach. He limps over to Mount Gerizim and clears his throat. He is the last surviving son—the last real son—of Gideon and has no trouble attracting a crowd.
He gathers his strength, and begins to speak.
The trees once gathered, Yotam says. They wished to choose for themselves a king. They asked the olive tree, your fruit is rich and ripe, rule over us. But the olive tree refused. They then asked the fig tree, but the fig tree demurred as well. They then asked the vine…
YOTAM, says a voice.
Then they asked the thornbush, Yotam continued. The thornbush agreed, but warned them: if you speak truly, all is good, come rest in my shade…
EXCUSE ME, YOTAM, the voice said.
…but if you will not have me as king, may fire issue forth from me, and consume all the trees in the world, even the cedars of…
YOTAM, the voice again. YOTAM, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE THIS MUCH SIMPLER. LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, LIKE WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THESE TREES. WHO ARE THE TREES.
Yotam stared at the man. A breeze whistled across the hill. Yotam picked at some shmutz on his arm, shrinking back in horror as he realized it was a dried splash of his brother’s blood. He couldn’t be sure which one.
Yotam looked up at the confused crowd.
What I meant is, no fucking kings for the people of Israel. And one of you guys had better murder your little garbage monarch, and Yotam walked off Mount Gerizim and away from Shechem forever.
Love that! Did he ever make a reappearance?
No I think poor Yotam had enough.
Speaking of weird gods, Baal is definitely one. While visiting Barcelona, I stopped the Museo Egipcio de Barcelona. In that museum is a small statue of Baal that looks a lot like Santa Claus, if he was Egyptian. After a bit more research afterwards, I found that Baal actually did have Santa like qualities like giving out gifts such as fertility. He was also was the lord of Rain and Dew. So I'm guessing that it's not a far stretch that Baal might have been adopted by Germanic tribes and modified to celebrate the winter Solstice and be lord of Snow and Ice. Crazy, huh?
I always get confused because there's BAAL and there's BAAL ZAPHON and BEELZEBUB and BAAL BERITH and BAAL PEOR and I don't really understand which of these are related and which are not. But the Baal Cycle is very cool: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baal_Cycle
Maybe once you work your way through the Bible stories take a crack at other gods and monsters. Oh wait, I think Gaiman has that angle nailed down. Ha!
You talking about Sandman or his Norse stories? Because both kick ass. I was looking at the Norse book this week seeing if there was anything worth stealing for this column.
Ha! You know what Picasso said about stealing...
The only Gideon I know has got a pipe made from a Pringles can.
I heard Gideon saw you in Denver, he says you’re contagious.