12 Comments

I teach CCD to 6th graders, covering the Old Testament. Really great "reality show" stories are packed within the books. Would love to share this version with my students, but think I would have to redact some of the language. Thanks for making the Old Testament cool!

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Haha you have my enthusiastic permission to redact the language, here is a handy guide:

"two fuckers" --> "two fuddlers"

"FUCK YOU MOSES" --> "enough outta you, moishe"

"beating the shit out of" --> "enthusiastically pummeling"

OK and now stupid question, what is CCD?

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Thank you for those suggestions. Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. Sunday school for the Roman Catholic church.

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The Beavis and Butthead of ancient Egypt.

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OK but who is the Daria? (Maybe Miriam when she gossips?)

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I love a good Bible story, especially if there’s a Talmudic discussion involved. Thanks for this! Better than the version at Chabad.org!

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Thank you! Especially sweet to hear you prefer this to Chabad's version given my longstanding beef with the Lubavitcher Rebbe (I think he's dead).

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Yes, he died in 1994, but still has an influence. Personally, I dig the Rebbe’s teachings (closer to Eastern thought than his followers would allow) but I can understand beefing with Lubavitch.

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As a kid I had a Lubavitch teacher who told me he was traveling to visit the Rebbe, and asked if we had anything we needed him to pray for. This would be in 1997 or so, and I was very, very confused. That (and the very weird messianists who occupy 770 Eastern Parkway) are the source of my beef. The actual teachings...I am mostly ignorant of.

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Two of my faves: “Sometimes, the best way to deal with your negative emotions is not to deal with them at all. Instead, focus on actions of kindness.”

and

“Don’t see bodies and their limits. See souls and their infinite potential.”

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This made my day. Who would you cast as the brothers? Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels? Bill Hader and Chris Parnell?

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Aw, thanks. And terrific question...what about David Spade and Jason Mantzoukas? But that's cheating a bit because I'll recommend Mantzoukas for any role, he's funny as hell.

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