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shibumi's avatar

oop. The last sentence should've read: "The gravity of her request was NOT lost upon all Rabblers, and spirits rose many times that night.

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shibumi's avatar

Well another backstory is: the Concubine left the Master because he didn't treat her right and she hated it/him, so she took the chance to flee home when it was safe. Her family took her back in. The Master quarters his horses determined to have her back "in the saddle" and upon arrival is invited into her father''s house where they drink and wager for days to decide what she's worth and what "dowry" the Master shall pay to have her. The Rabblers know what's up -- the rich man's horses are outside her home along with a steady pile of emptied jugs -- mead, goat's milk, and other delectable deliveries, presumed. When confronted with the Rabblers her father let-in, she's willing and ready to have one last youthful glory of an orgy right then and there, yet only if they leave her dead by sunrise (or something like that. who knows? maybe she got creative knowing she was going to die, and danced seductively with anticipation that she would NEVER be with the Master, again). The gravity of her request was lost upon all Rabblers, and spirits rose many times that night.

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Mark Leidner's avatar

Love modern updates of old obscure religious stories. Thank you for sharing. This read like a horror movie from the 70s

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Thank you for reading! I don't know anything about 70s horror films but I definitely decided to pull a Stephen King at one point during this thing.

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Neal Schier's avatar

If not a book (please please please!) then maybe a podcast or something so that they may be preserved. Perhaps Michael Gerber setting this up to you in interview or question/answer format.

Don't you like it when readers put dibs on your time? Your fault however, for they are gold and supremely enjoyable.

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E.R. Flynn's avatar

Definitely book worthy. Might I suggest you pair the stories with illustrations by several of The American Bystander faithfuls? Wink wink.

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John Patrick Nelson's avatar

I read these, pardon me, religiously. I adore them. The style is hilarious.

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Don Watson's avatar

Yes, a whole book...you can't make this stuff up (or do you?)

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Michael Pershan's avatar

I sure wish I could make these stories up! I do try to keep some fidelity to the original, though there is a lot of interpretation involved.

You can check out Judges 19 in the King James Version here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges%2019&version=KJV

The main things "missing" from the original are feelings, perspective, motivation, etc., those qualities that we all expect from a story in 2023. "And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel," that's all we get in KJV. Trying to figure out how exactly to handle these sorts of problems are part of what's most interesting about this to me, as a matter of craft.

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

Now this one I haven't heard and am mystified as to why? Brilliantly retold again Michael.

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Aw, thanks. Yeah, this story was very much skipped when we studied Judges/Shoftim in school. Though I was recently home and found my brother's workbook from when he studied the story in middle school. The workbook DEFINITELY covers this one.

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Eric Nadler's avatar

Fabulous...do the book!!

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Peter Doyle's avatar

Dear Editor, ha!

Ha, I say, and fie on the claims of Michael Pershan (מיכאל פרשן), spouting his fav for "The Most Disturbing Story in the Whole Freaking Bible."

Judges 19?

Ha!

I'll see your Judges 19:11, "by Jebus," and I'll raise you Genesis 12:

Father Abraham has Seven Sons, but first he parades his wife Sarai/Sarah before Egypt's Pharaoh, pretending she's his sister. Our patriarch trots outs our matriarch on Thebes's streets, the pimp!

Abraham's nephew Lot does worse, "הַבְּכִירָה וַתִּשְׁכַּב אֶת־אָבִיהָ," if you know what I mean, whoa! In Greek, Lot did lot's worse, "εἰσελθοῦσα ἡ πρεσβυτέρα ἐκοιμήθη μετὰ τοῦ πατρὸς αὐτῆς τὴν νύκτα." Yikes. Doubt it, do you? See for yourself, chapter and verse, Genesis 19:33, whoa and yikes!

Yours 'by Jebus' (κατὰ Ιεβους, עִם־יְבוּס),

--Peter Doyle, subscriber, Venice Beach

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ur mom's avatar

WOW THAT WAS AWESOME

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shibumi's avatar

A besotted man-lover fulfills his desirous fascination with the girl who left him and pursues, then sacrifices his beloved FEMALE to the wolves after gaining her father permission to take her, again, as his own. The rabble rapes and "does what they want" with her, succumbed, killing HER in the revelries. So, what's new? More than 65% of girls are raped and beaten (to some extent) by they're 14 years old, worldwide by men who are brothers, friends or related, in a neighborly way. yup ... look that one up.

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Aug 27, 2023
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Michael Pershan's avatar

So that you get to tell the Bible stories.

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