Does it slap?

Readers ask, we answer

Welcome to the twofiftyone.net digest post. A reader asks:

Dear 251,

How do you guys decide which cartoons to run? Are you trying to carve out a particular “style” or “niche” in the cartoon world?

—Susanna from Duluth

Susanna, we get far more quality submissions than we could ever hope to publish on 251. How, then, do we decide which ones to run online? There’s no need to be mysterious about it. It all comes down to four basic questions:

1. Is it funny?

2. Is it set on a gameshow soundstage, or does it (at least) show a man holding a microphone?

3. Does it feature an advanced mathematical concept, ideally one first identified by a charismatic Polish-French mathematician?

4. Does it slap like a motherfucker?

And that’s how we decide, Susanna.

You’d be surprised, but very few cartoons pass all four tests. Every once in a while though, something does, and last week it was this gem from Rose Anne Prevec:

The truth is that mathematics and motherfucker slapping is not all we’re about. We are a publication with broad interests. For instance, we are very interested in death. Hence this cartoon, from Lynn Hsu, was also right up our alley:

Mathematics, death, motherfuckers—but also national politics. Jimmy Pitts, our Florida correspondent, has collected “Literature Not Banned From Florida Public Schools” in a nice tidy list. You should read the whole thing, but here’s a snapshot:

But wait, wait, wait, there’s more, more more:

• Bob Eckstein (of

  The Bob
  ) has been helpfully reporting on the Gwyneth Paltrow trial in our pages.

• Gregg Siegel asks us, “English Class Reading List or Erotic Fiction Title?” (I continue to enjoy And Still I Rise.)

• Tim Cahill & Kristina Libby provide “Bank Robbery Notes, By Your Favorite Writers.”

And much, much more, which you can find here, in a long confusing list of everything we’ve ever published.

COME ON BABY, DO THE SELF-PROMOTION

Two weeks ago we asked you to promote yourselves. Oh boy, you came through in a big way. We enjoyed your baseball poems, letter-pressed cartoons, Portuguese humor, funny posts, brilliant interactive fiction, and weekly cartoons.

But you know what? It’s not enough.

We want more self-promotion! We desire it. We demand it. We love it. Tell us everything. We want to know about the blog post you recently wrote, the tweet you think deserved more likes, the idea you just had, the thing you drew years ago but want more eyeballs on.

And if you have nothing to self-promote, tell us what you’re reading, watching, listening to. We love that shit! Tell us more. We need to know. Tell us what slaps.