35 Comments
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Michael Pershan's avatar

I will go first, hopefully someone can punch this up.

"Taxidermist did a fine job, but we're gonna bury him anyway."

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John Bluff's avatar

"You forgot the first rule of taxidermy: Make sure the dog’s dead first. Now get down in your grave."

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Karl Straub's avatar

No filtha taxidermist is goin’ to tell us what we cairn and cairn’t do, eh, Petey?

(I didn’t think yours was NEARLY esoteric enough)

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Are you suggesting that the taxidermied dog...and the older gentlemen...that he is...I don't know how to put this delicately...that they are perhaps...well frankly...to just go out and say it...well, right?

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Karl Straub's avatar

Errr-- you may be reading into it. Actually, the sleazy, dirty interpretation you’re hinting around coyly is probably a better joke than mine. Probably way better because mine’s a play on words, and a pretentious one at that. He’s using “cairn” as a pun, a cairn being a pile of stones used as a monument. Aargh, the more I try to explain it the worse it gets

It doesn’t even make sense really, which makes me laugh more but I can’t defend it. I think it makes me laugh to think that he’s bothering to make a terrible pun for the benefit of a dog who’s stuffed, after murdering the taxidermist who stuffed the dog. Like his priorities are really odd.

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Karl Straub's avatar

Ultimately, I blame you for this.

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Oh I accept the blame!

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Albert H.'s avatar

I agree but I think we should put a bigger hat on him first.

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Michael Gerber's avatar

"He never expects it, no matter how many times I hit 'im."

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Michael Gerber's avatar

(I am writing this in the Voice of Pershan™.)

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Michael Pershan's avatar

That's pretty good!

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Laura Fox's avatar

"Good dog. Now piss."

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Reuben Salsa's avatar

"Stupid human. I'm telling you theres a fire in the old barn"

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Steve Wyatt's avatar

“You’ll never find that bone, ya bastard.”

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Steve Wyatt's avatar

“Now my wife’s buried, it’s time to take care of the witness.”

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Strong contender!

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John Bluff's avatar

"Who do you think they're going to believe, a pipe-smoking vagrant or a beloved collie named Lassie? Now hurry up and finish the job. Timmy's starting to stink."

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Angel Acevedo 'Sketch Iwerks"'s avatar

"I told you not buried your bones next to my wife"

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Michael Pershan's avatar

This is that dog saying that, isn't it.

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Albert H.'s avatar

I told you your puppies were dead. Now can I fill the hole back in?

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Michael Pershan's avatar

Oh wow!

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Albert H.'s avatar

I know, right?

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Albert H.'s avatar

I told you to stop pissing in my study Mr. Crackers. Now get in the hole!

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Wabi Sabi's avatar

'That last remark was completely unacceptable! It's time to de-platform you. With this shovel.'

'I knew that final "woof" was out of line.'

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Steve Wyatt's avatar

“Piss on my coat again, I dare you.”

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Christopher S Bowen's avatar

"Nothin' like giving some poor schmuck making wisecracks about me hat the ol' 'unmarked grave treatment,' eh boy?"

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John Bluff's avatar

Keep digging or Timmy's won't be the only throat Lassie chews out today.

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Joe Petro's avatar

Paleontologist is dog’s best friend.

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Joe Petro's avatar

Also, you're welcome. I'll see you at the Taproom on Thursday. I'll be the one wearing a beer helmet.

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Michael Pershan's avatar

You won't be the only one with a beer helmet at Talmud class! Don't forget your Jastrow dictionary, the Ritva's commentary on Pesachim, and enough pretzels to share.

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Joe Petro's avatar

I think I meant to say I’ll see you there every day except Thursday. But I’ll still bring pretzels...?

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Albert H.'s avatar

Now that you have prepared the site, we shall receive the orb from my planet and you will follow it's instructions.

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Albert H.'s avatar

A little closer to hole old man...that's it...little closer...a lil.....ruff,ruff,ruff,ruff,ruff,ruff,ruff,ruffruff,ruff...haha...asshole!

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