Viral Excuses

Poem by Melissa Balmain

Who cares if I’m lying here, watching TV,
when I ought to be meeting a deadline or three?
I’ve got plenty of time now for sloth, just from saving
the hours that I used to spend bathing and shaving.

So what if I’m buying more chocolate and wine
and more clothes I don’t need? Thanks to discounts online
and my lack of meals out and my dearth of mall shopping,
my overall thrift’s undeniably whopping.

In fact, if corona keeps curbing our ways,
and I keep finding tricks to bank dollars and days,
then at last (this pandemic has made me so clever!)
I’ll live like a queen and binge Netflix forever. ◊

MELISSA BALMAIN is the Editor of Light, a journal of light verse. Her collection Walking in on People is often mistaken by online shoppers for some kind of porn.

---