(Dear Bystander readers: This is Mike, still being held in an undisclosed location by the editors of Two Fifty One. I have patiently sawed through my restraints using a shard of light bulb broken during my initial abduction. Now I am typing this on Ben’s laptop, while Ben and Adam have stepped away for a mochacchino.
I will tweet for help, but first must post this illustration by Zak Pullen from the next Bystander. It’s just too good to wait.
OH SHIT THEY’RE BACK FROM STARBUCKS — retying myself! Enjoy the illustration.