Things that MIGHT treat the coronavirus:
Swallowing 4 AAA batteries
Shining a laser pointer directly into your eye
Shoving a Flaming Hot Cheeto up each nostril (really cram it in there)
Several "Coronabombs": a shot of gasoline dropped in a Bud Light, chugged
Soaking in the fresh tears of local Democrats
Slathering yourself in a slurry of Softscrub and…
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